Should we have a celebration of life or a funeral for grandma? This is not a very fair question because it implies that somehow these too events are mutually exclusive. They are not, if properly understood. My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I have noticed the growing trend among families both inside and outside of the Catholic church preferring to have a celebration of life “ceremony” instead of a funeral. I realize that the term celebration of life can mean different things to various people. What I mean when I use the term is some kind of celebratory (even if the family is grief-stricken) gathering of family and friends to speak about the deceased person and enjoy each other’s company and consolation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and it can be a wonderfully helpful thing to do. However, when it is done in place of doing a funeral, that is where we run into trouble. First, a Catholic funeral is inherently already a celebration of life. It celebrates the gift of life that was given to our beloved deceased, and it aims to give thanks to God for this. There is another layer to this funeral celebration which, I fear, is often missing from a celebration of life ceremony; that is, celebrating the life of Jesus Christ which was offered as a loving sacrifice to save us from our sins and bring the deceased (and us) into eternal union with our God and all the faithful departed. Here is the important point: a funeral is intrinsically connected and directed toward God whereas a celebration of life ceremony may not be. Sometimes it is said that a funeral is only about consoling the family and friends left behind, but it is much more than that. A Catholic funeral is a uniquely powerful way for us to help our beloved deceased enter heaven since our prayers during the funeral are almost a constant plea for God’s mercy on their soul. Given that no one is saved from eternal damnation and brought into eternal, blissful union with God except by the saving grace of Jesus Christ, shouldn’t we turn to the funeral as a powerful means to help secure this for our deceased loved one? Celebration of life or funeral for grandma? Definitely a funeral—but, by all means, maybe also a celebration of life ceremony at a different time than the funeral. By the way, this is part of the reason for having a wake service the evening before (or sometime before) the funeral. It not only allows people to console the family and friends, but even the Church’s official ritual prayer for a wake service (aka “Vigil for the Deceased”) provides an opportunity for a member of the family or a friend to share what is commonly called a eulogy. Dealing with death is never easy. It is far more difficult without remaining close to God throughout the process of grief. We naturally and rightfully want to celebrate the life of the deceased. Let us do so, but let us not leave aside the One who is the Author and Savior and of our life.
God bless you, and please know of my prayers for each of you! Please, pray for me.